So my nutritionist recommended that I get 8 keys to recovery.
I began reading it and did one of the activities. Different than what I expected.
This assignment was to write a THANK YOU letter to my eating disorder. Excuse me WHAT?
Basically it was to distinguish your eating disorder from your healthy self.
After writing the thank you letter the assignment was to re-read and think about what you could have done differently instead of engaging in the eating disorder.
Here’s my letter.
Thank you for helping me get through high school. You made it easier to ignore the hurt and torment I was receiving. Losing friends, and other relationships, struggling with classes, and teasing about my weight was very hard for me. You have me some hope of control, if not with everything at least my food and weight. And it worked. You also took away my ability to not feel my emotions. This made it easier to go through the motions of the day.
If I didn’t have you throughout those years I don’t think I would have survived. So many times I wanted to die, to just end it. But you took my emotions and made me numb. This allowed me to go on. You helped me lose weight, get through school without pain or memories.
Dear Healthy Me,
I know high school was hard. Rex saved you. But you could’ve sought help from you mom. From school councillors, any outside source. I know you don’t like to speak up for yourself, but look at what happened. You didn’t gain control, you lost yourself. You’re stronger than you believe, you will recover from you disordered self.